Where do we go from here?

My silence went to anger, which is now followed by many questions, almost all of which begin with Why. I believe this is a fair step in the journey we are on. I am not a fan of having people tell me it will be okay, but need to experience it for myself… again. We are blessed as a family to have the love and support of family and friends helping us to heal, but the process may never be over, the healing may never fully take place. We know we can survive and have a positive outcome as we have our beautiful daughter to remind us of the survival and miracles that can happen if you hand yourself over to God. If you are willing to place yourself, your hurting, your anger, and your longing in his hands you can see there will be healing. This in no way diminishes how we feel, but by his grace will help us be stronger as a couple, as a family, and as believers. The loss of a child at any stage in life is painful, heartbreaking and leaves a hole in your family where they could have been. Our wish like many would have been to hold them, to know them and to teach them, but because we loved them we did get something that will always be with us. Through our loss we hope to have gains, gains that last our lifetime. The physical healing will come first with a wonderful Dr.'s help... and well... the rest will come in time.

The Lord called me from the womb, from the body of my mother he named my name.
-Isaiah 49:1

Not Me! Monday

With a lifetime of a weekend behind me, it is not me who let my 2 year old roll in shredded paper in just a diaper all over the basement. It is certainly not me who let our Bel crawl into bed with me and allowed her to watch Disney for an hour and a half. I did not have to run after my child while she screamed she needed to be naked as our friends were coming for lunch, no not me. It is important to us to use manners and have our child use them at all times, so it is certainly not me who allowed her to walk around the kitchen to eat lunch and dinner on Sunday. My daughter certainly did not put herself in the dog kennel and proceed to say she was going to sleep. It is not me who has completely lost her mind and can only imagine her students doing FUN projects on a Monday as she blogs, no most certainly not me.

Fall Fun

I have not been very good about updating at all this fall. So I went through photos over the past two and a half months and put together a slide show. We have been as busy as ever and have traveled to weddings out of state twice in the last month for DM's cousins, one in IL and one in IA. We have been enjoying our little girl who is getting to be even more independent by the day (we didn't think this was possible). I also have continued to be busy with school and teaching and DM is working hard as always. We are a very blessed family! One thing that we are extremely proud of with Bel is that she is learning to sign herself before meals, and is very cute about her Amen's! I hope to remember to update more often as I am looking forward to having more time with at home as I enjoy my first winter away from swimming in a very...very long time. Enjoy!